Falling
Author: Anita
Fandom: Takarazuka RPF
Characters: Tsukishiro Kanato / Akatsuki Chisei, Kazama Yuno, Umino Mitsuki
Genre: yuri, romance
Rating: PG 13
Summary: Chisei thinks she's finally found the one for her in
Kazama Yuno. Yuno, despite their year-long relationship, started
displaying worried over Chisei's tightness with Tsukishiro Kanato. But
it's normal to message one of your best friends nonstop, right? To make
it worse, the two are to spend month apart when Chisei and Yuno find a
confession Kanato wrote in the past, and Yuno is convinced Chisei was
the intended recipient. How can Chisei prove to Yuno she's imagining
things and maintain both her girlfriend and her friend who's also a girl
when it's no secret she considers Kanato the most beautiful woman ever?
Previous Chapter | Chapter 20 | This is the final chapter! | First Chapter
Falling
Chapter 20
The first five minutes of the way, they didn’t really speak a word. Ari wouldn’t have been able to hear it anyway through the torrent of thoughts that made a cacophonous orchestra in her head. But as the walk made her feel less cold and tense, she could find what the first thing was she should ask. “Why did you leave like that?”
Though Reiko had walked a part of the way some steps ahead, she’d gradually slowed down until Ari couldn’t keep any distance and they were walking side by side. But they could as well be strangers to a third party who happened to see them so large was the gap in between. She took her time to answer, seeming to walk even more slowly. Her build looked smaller, and she was definitely jittery. “I was confused at first, and then I felt guilty. But still mostly confused. It was like I was being rejected after three years.”
“Well, about the three years part… I would have told you. That, had I indeed touched that knit cap then to find any notes.” Ari snickered despite her embarrassment. “You know I feel it’s a waste to wear the things you give me; I don’t want to get it dirty or worn out.”
“Are you saying you found that note on that day of the park?” Reiko came to a halt. “Did you and Oda break up because she thought I’d just sent it?”
Ari shook her head and motioned for them to continue the walk. The park was farther than she had remembered; with how this talk progressed, she’d die before ever reaching it. As they resumed, she clarified, “We broke up because I’d lied to her that night I came over from Hakata. And the note… I—well, we found it in September… or maybe October? Just before the trip, anyway. Yesterday, it was true that the note was involved, because Haru found out my lie when I didn’t want to give it back to you. My plan was to just give it to Umino-san.”
“When I never got an answer back then,” Reiko’s eyes glazed over, “I didn’t want to make it any more uncomfortable asking. I’d never expected the note had still been in the hat all along, I was even afraid it could fall in the middle of all the troupe members.”
“That’s the thing. You knew I had the hat, so how could Umino-san answer you?”
Stopping again, Reiko’s body gave all signs it was about to head another way, probably toward her apartment. “I can’t, I’m not ready for this…”
“I’m the first to understand not being ready, but this note was three years ago. And I’ll also use the friend card. Plus, if you walk out now, I’ll start thinking the note was for me.” She started laughing.
And barely had time to think how ironic that would have been that her shrine had blocked her ultimate happiness. Because Reiko asked point-blank, not losing a beat, “Who else would it have been for? It was in the knit cap I gave you.”
Ari forgot how to breathe. Her ears were as if she were underwater.
Reiko’s voice was very, very far. “Today really isn’t the day to talk about my feelings.”
She could only watch Reiko again turn in another direction, and this time, start distancing from her. For some miracle, however, she looked back and said, “Just apologize to Oda. I’m sure she didn’t want to end things. I should have told you so yesterday, I should have gotten you into my car and gone after her. She really didn’t want to be away from you.” Her hands fisted up; her arms shivered. “This voice was telling me that, but I didn’t know why you broke up, and you weren’t ready to tell me either.” A wry smile floated her lips. “I guess that’s just me finding excuses for myself. You wanted to wait until the end of the day to talk to her, didn’t you? That’s why you were repeating, ‘Just today.’”
“You were worried about that? I already knew it, that Haru didn’t want to end it.”
Reiko’s eyes sharpened. “Then why did you do what she asked you and returned that note to me? After yesterday… After all that happened yesterday…”
Regret. Ari felt so, so stupid. The taste of Reiko’s lips, their texture, the pressure over hers, the softness… She could have had it legitimately years ago and lost it. After this, when she got home and it downed on her completely, it would hurt a lot. “She thought returning was the best for me. And it should have been… I returned it to give this closure. I… I wish I had known the whole truth, I wish I had found it three years ago.”
“But it’s better this way,” Reiko cut through her remorse. With her index finger she pointed to the two of them. “I prefer being your friend to just another name on your list of exes. I wouldn’t have had the face to become close to you like we are… were after it. Oda was the first I actually saw you go out with and regret losing.” She sighed. “Also, every time I considered anything else, it just got us farther apart. Starting from how awkward it was for me after you got the note and never even worn the hat. And lastly, yesterday. I hate myself for using you.”
“Wait, yesterday was me taking you to all these weird rides. You left the slope slide whining that you were too old for that. And it was I who knocked on your door. Do you think I will think back and misunderstand you because of three years ago? As much as I’m only finding out now, that is like ancient history in our timeline of friendship, I barely talked to you then.”
“Ari.” Reiko’s tone was chastising her, but she was unable to grasp why. Reiko noticed her disorientation and continued, “It’s not ancient history for me. I know it was my own fault for misinterpreting your intentions, but seeing that note again was a punch in my gut. Even though I now understand your intention, it feels sore. It blindsided me. I wish we didn’t have this conversation when you’re still dealing with what happened with Oda, but, at least, now you know everything. We can patch up and move on.”
“Everything?”
“This is like torture… Do I really have to say all the words?”
She did sound like it was excruciating to, but Ari was sure she had lost something somewhere. Nothing was making the sense Reiko thought it was. They were still alternating monologues in place of having a conversation.
“It’s not history for me. But things changed. We got closer, became friends, you were always with me. Even when we were at our busiest, you were sending me random thoughts or pictures or videos… I could call you and we’d go out around town just the two of us. I loved all that.”
“Me too,” Ari spurted out. “S-so let’s go on to the park, take pictures and stuff. I think it’s right ahead, maybe five more minutes.”
It earned her a warm smile from Reiko. But it also looked lonely. “That night in Hakata, it all blew up in my face. I’d crossed the limit, lost where it was, and I still can’t get back there. Yesterday was more proof than anything.” To Ari’s surprised, she was again walking. “This was so stupid, though.”
Ari hurried to reach her. “What is?” Her mind was racing trying to find arguments against what it seemed that Reiko was telling her. There should be some other explanation. It couldn’t be that… all this time… Then, it would be truly stupid. The idiotic thing ever.
“Why didn’t I come up with an excuse for running, instead of dragging you into this? I had lots of time to find something believable. I could have drafted an entire book while I waited in the parking lot.” She chuckled. “Like, that I really needed to use the bathroom.”
Ari laughed too. She’d never seen Reiko being rude just because she had to go to the bathroom. As bad as it could get, she’d always been the most discreet. “Or that your mother was calling?” she suggested, because that game was soothing her thoughts and buying more time.
“Hmm… or just say I had to because my favorite drama was about to start.”
That would never stick either. “One of the directors needed to talk to you urgently.”
“I forgot the oven on.”
“The whole day? Your house would have exploded already, why bother?”
“Not if no one is there to ignite it, I think.” Reiko pondered further, leaning her head to one side. “I could be missing a plane. Or about to go on a trip to the moon.”
“C’mon, Reiko-san, you need to find things we’d believe and you’re going the opposite way.”
“Wasn’t it to find terrible excuses?”
They laughed together until Ari felt tears welling up in her eyes. Definitely, not tears of sadness this time. “I’m glad you didn’t do that, though. We’re two big idiots, and it would only continue.”
“What the… Don’t include me there, you’re the one who didn’t find the note in time. To top it off, you thought it was to someone else. At least, I tried doing something. You just let it go and moved on to the next pretty face.”
“You just said that was for the better.”
“I still would have… Hey, you’re not helping, you big idiot.” She increased her pace and turned her face the other way. “The coming clean part is over; now we move on, or rather, back to before Hakata. Agreed?”
“It’s not fair; I never came clean.” Ari chaffed.
Reiko threw a glance of annoyance. “You had your moment before the guess my feelings game.”
“But that game was for asking questions. I demand my turn before you decide on your own what we’re supposed to think about or to turn back time.”
“Ouch, that hurt.”
“I’m sorry, first coming clean then is that I’d never want to hurt you.”
“Good job…” Having noticed Ari’s surprise, Reiko hurried to add, “That came out more of a downer than a joke, sorry. Ari, I already know that. I don’t really blame you for being a big idiot. You understood everything I said, right? I could never think badly of you.”
Ari did her best to gulp the feeling of floating in the air. “Now, number two. I feel terrible for forcing to pretend to date Umi-san because I was really being selfish and just trying to make it the best of the two worlds for me.”
“Don’t, I wanted that too. I shouldn’t have lied for that, though. I love her, and it wasn’t like the person I loved in a romantic way was attainable, so it was supposed to be the best solution. However, she noticed everything on our second date… And apparently went on to suggest a… quadruple relationship?”
“Polyamorous, the name. Number three. I wore that knit hat to Harvest Hill yesterday to show Haru my shrine to your things was over. Wait, number three should have been that I used to have a part in my closet where I kept everything you’ve given me.”
Reiko raised her eyebrows.
“Number three-dot-five,” Ari was quick to say, before any comments came. “The place is still there, just empty now I decided to put everything to use. The knit cap was the last item to go. Well, I was thinking it was until I noticed your pajama had fallen from the pile somewhere else. Either way, there’s still this large, empty rectangle in my closet.”
“That’s…”
“Number five, I thought Haru was just crazy for being jealous about you until you decided to flirt with me in Hakata.”
“What do you mean?”
“Ha! See how confusing it is when people don’t just go and say it at once?” Ari raised her finger to stop Reiko from interrupting again. “Number six, I don’t know if it was the alcohol but some of the flirting was really good then. You should have just told me to forget Haru. I’d probably answer, who’s Haru?”
“Ari…”
“Isn’t this a great game? Number seven, I do think you’re also a big idiot, with all respect toward my joukyuusei.” She raised the finger again when noticing Reiko open her mouth. “Number eight—”
Reiko tried pulling her closer, but failed to win her physically, so she instead through herself onto Ari hugging her and drowning her face into Ari’s shoulder. With the same suddenness, she raised her head. “For a moment I forgot I didn’t have makeup anymore and thought I’d just ruined your coat.”
Their eyes met. Ari was still shocked from the double attack, unable to move. Reiko was equally frozen in the spot until her eyes fell to Ari’s mouth. Her lips parted a little. “Please, kiss me?”
“I still had some important points…” Ari couldn’t help a smile, because her stomach seemed to be flipping inside her and a wave of energy traveled up her spine. “Are you sure you want to go on in the dark?”
“I wouldn’t understand a word you said.”
So, Ari fulfilled the request with a full kiss that bore out their hearts in a way words would never have done. She couldn’t believe Reiko’s hands were holding her neck, going through her hair simply because she wanted to do it, not because of alcohol or whatever. Ari’s feet were on the verge of skipping around so high was the thrill that invaded her each time she thought that was Reiko and that Reiko was in her arms and that she was in Reiko’s arms.
“Oh no!” Reiko broke the kiss covering her face. “We’re in the middle of Takarazuka city!”
“Shit, Reiko, you almost gave me a heart attack. I thought you were going all ‘Don’t think about this’ again.”
Reiko broke into a laughter. “Wait, where’s the honorific, you cheeky kakyuusei?”
“Somewhere with the twenty years you just made me lose.” She was still panting from the shock of another rejection.
Getting closer to Ari again, Reiko took her hand and held it there for a long moment as they enjoyed each other’s warmth. “Let’s go? My plan was to just do things friends do in that park, like taking pictures, but now I’d really like seeing it with you, hand in hand.”
“Then you should have let me finish before.” Ari grinned. “Coming clean number eight, I have no idea where that park is anymore, or where the hell we are.” Her chuckling echoed.
“And I’m the big idiot? This isn’t Hakata, we’re in Takarazuka, how can you get lost after living here for more than ten years?”
“Number nine, I really don’t want to go there because I’m starving.”
Reiko furrowed. “Why didn’t you say it so we could do this in a heated room?”
With a shrug, Ari gave her a peck on the lips.
“Ari! People could be watching us right now from some window or apartment…”
As they started their walk back to the parking lot, not as far from where they were as it had seemed, Reiko tightened her grip around Ari’s hand and asked, “Are the coming clean items finally over?”
Ari pretended to regard it. “I think you agreed to go in blind, so you’ll have to find out as we go. Just…” Her phone started ringing.
“Who’s it?” Reiko frowned, her eyes following as Ari clicked to ignore the call.
“Umino-san. I maybe made everyone go around searching for you.” She looked back sheepishly.
“I put my phone in silent…” Reiko went for her pocket, but Ari held her hand in place. “I’ll just say you found me, she’d be worried.”
“She knows it, she and Haru were the ones who really found you. And before you think I wasn’t looking, I had gone all the way to your house.”
“I’m sorry.”
“What I’m saying is that I don’t want to think about other people. Do you?”
“Today was really a full day.” Reiko sighed with exaggeration. And her expression was so precious…
“Then we agree to forget them for tonight?”
Reiko nodded, opening a smile. “I really like the idea—”
And Ari enveloped her with her arms, kissing as intensely and closely as Newton’s law permitted. When she felt Reiko begin to protest, she added without parting their lips, “No other people.” She expected her to insist that hadn’t been what she meant but Reiko just smiled and continued the kiss.
The end!
Anita, 14/01/2022
Final Notes:
This story helped me get through some bad times and get me out of reality for a while or extract a lot of it from being a burden to me (and making it a burden to Ari). I’ll always love it even though it all just became a very big mess both in writing and in planning. I got to a point I didn’t know what I was writing, and I just decided it was over and forgot it wasn’t yet lol Now I revised it and realized that it still needed a proper ending but “Isn’t this over? Damn, just kiss already!” And so they did and you readers are finally free from these dorkies. At least for now.
Ari’s transfer hadn’t been announced yet when I wrote most of this, just near the ending I learned of it, so I had to ignore it. No reason to add it suddenly to the story. This isn’t meant to be the reality, anyway. My next story does account for it, so please read it if you’re interested. Though it’ll be more like “Ari is about to transfer!” than “What will I do without Ari??”. I was planning on doing the latter at another time and in the end I still haven’t and not sure if I will now I’ve been writing originals. We’ll see.
Thank you everyone for following this. I suck at keeping things updated so I took longer to revise it than to write it… but that’s the usual, I guess. I don’t deserve any of you! Thank you very much!
Though it’s over, comments will always be my fuel. Don’t forget to leave me a couple of words. Future me will be super grateful wherever she is.
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