Falling
Author: Anita
Fandom: Takarazuka RPF
Characters: Tsukishiro Kanato / Akatsuki Chisei, Kazama Yuno, Umino Mitsuki
Genre: yuri, romance
Rating: PG 13
Summary: Chisei thinks she's finally found the one for her in
Kazama Yuno. Yuno, despite their year-long relationship, started
displaying worried over Chisei's tightness with Tsukishiro Kanato. But
it's normal to message one of your best friends nonstop, right? To make
it worse, the two are to spend month apart when Chisei and Yuno find a
confession Kanato wrote in the past, and Yuno is convinced Chisei was
the intended recipient. How can Chisei prove to Yuno she's imagining
things and maintain both her girlfriend and her friend who's also a girl
when it's no secret she considers Kanato the most beautiful woman ever?
Previous Chapter | Chapter 7 | Next Chapter
Falling
Chapter 7
That had been the worst way to start a run in Hakata, if Ari could opine. She’d hoped for a miracle, that real life were like the movies and Reiko wouldn’t even remember that night, but from the following day she knew, it had just taken a glance to be sure Reiko did. Maybe not the whole of it, but she knew about the kiss, for Ari’s misery.
Let’s not think about it? How? She’d just kissed the most beautiful woman she’d ever met. And was possibly in love with her all over again. No, in a worse way, because before it had been mere physical attraction, now Ari loved her as a friend, and admired her as a Takarasienne. She’d seen the many faces of that woman, it wasn’t like in those days when Reiko was the new girl, who happened to be pretty as fuck.
Another problem? She’d cheated on her girlfriend, and it wasn’t even a priority on her list of problems. The pseudo date, especially as they were walking together, had already created a scratch in her mind that maybe she wasn’t being super faithful. But even before the kiss, the whole groping scene alone that served as the prologue to her tragedy was death-sentence worth, if cheating were a crime. It would have taken a very expensive lawyer to defend that they were just hugging as drunk mates do every day. Not that it mattered, all the money in the world couldn’t buy a defense when she had kissed Reiko for so long and gone so deep. She felt a hot wave come up her body just from thinking; and then, the cold shower of shame.
And before she could worry about her girlfriend, there was still the friend whose trust she’d also betrayed. Umino knew something was wrong almost at the same time Ari realized Reiko hadn’t suffered the alcohol amnesia she’d prayed all deities for. Umino’s eyes toward Ari reflected disorientation.
“Did the date go that well?” she finally asked when they were alone.
Ari looked around, praying for an interruption, but no one even spoke in their vicinity. “You knew about it?”
“Yeah, Reiko-san needed help picking clothes.”
That gave her pause. Did Reiko realize it wasn’t for Ari she had to… Or was it an excuse to talk to Umino? If so, then congratulations were in order. Just that it just surely wasn’t, and Reiko really asked for help to the girl she needed help get. “She did learn a couple of pick-up lines.” A smile formed in her face, remembering the “I love you” said directly to her, among all the bloopers in said lines. “You should have seen how much the people helped in the bar we went to.”
“Bar? She’d reserved the restaurant in…”
“Wait, she asked you to help her prepare for the date in which I was helping her… for real?” Ari hadn’t suspected she’d gone that far.
Umino pursed her lips. “She didn’t really have to ask; I offered.”
Ari’s mind was too hungover to work through all that information. Or maybe too committed to sabotaging her, because while Umino had helped Reiko plan a lovely date, Ari had gotten her drunk and made out with her in public, or almost in public.
“What part went wrong that you won’t look at each other?”
Ari couldn’t answer Umino. She could hardly breathe just from thinking how only the truth would explain. Save for lying, which she couldn’t. So, she said, “I’m so sorry” and just left. She shook her head and left without saying anything.
Umino never touched the topic again after that conversation. Or an attempt of one. She was still talking normally to Ari when it related to work, but they didn’t meet outside the theater, nor did they exchange any messages. Ari was sure Reiko had told her. After trying to extract it from Ari, Umino would have gone to the only possible other source. Ari should be happy for it, that had brought the two even closer, despite what the common sense would have said.
Her interactions with Reiko hadn’t zeroed as they did with Umino, but Ari didn’t have to force herself not to message too much anymore. On the contrary, for the next days, she was searching for memes and weird news and whatever could become material for a quick message exchange. Reiko would reply with emoji or stamps most of those times, taking moments too long for such thoughtless replies. Sometimes, Ari had already concluded her message had been relegated to the “read” receipt and an hour later Reiko sent a single emoji. Had she considered not answering and then a heavy conscience told her to at least send something? Ari could only guess. What she was sure was that Reiko wasn’t following her own request of not thinking about it. But pointing the finger at her would be to point three back at herself when all she did was to lament that night.
And there was the third victim. A day didn’t pass that Ari didn’t feel like throwing herself under a bus just thinking of the people she’d hurt. It was for the best Yuno was miles away in Kansai, or Ari would have ended up in her bed after leaving Reiko, which was even nastier than kissing another girl. Though when you’re guilty, you don’t get credits for not doing worse. Ari didn’t deserve any credits at all. Was all her relationship with Yuno a lie? Had she been in love with Reiko since that time or was it something that happened in the last few months?
She stared at their chat history. Yuno’s first lead in a Bow Hall had opened days before, so Ari had bought her flowers on that day and had them delivered to her apartment. She’d intended to do it since before, so it didn’t count as acting suspicious. But studying their message exchange showed her another view. She’d been messaging Yuno nonstop until before the pseudo date from hell. Then Yuno had been too busy and sent disconnected replies… or so she had thought. Now they read angry or at least upset that Ari had meddled with Reiko and Umino. Like someone who had had to weigh each word she’d type. The date hadn’t even happened yet; how had Yuno known what the matchmaking would entail? Wouldn’t getting the person Ari loved together with the person Reiko had loved for years the best way to prove Yuno’s jealousy didn’t have any grounds?
But it had. For some joke of the destiny, Ari had indeed betrayed Yuno with no one less than Reiko. However, what were the chances of it happening again? The matchmaking had ultimately worked, and Reiko and Umino were even more together. Also, Ari was out of their way.
She scrolled down to their talks from after the kiss. Ari’s frequency had diminished, but Yuno’s complaint about the sum of messages could also have been the reason—it wasn’t really, Ari had forgotten up to now that Yuno had even complained anything. So lucky she’d cheated on Yuno and couldn’t face her, or she’d been annoying her ass out with infinite messages. Yay.
She hadn’t been sending many memes either. There was a good number of stamps telling Yuno how she missed her, all sent late at night, when Ari couldn’t sleep. Each stamp was evidence to her guilt. She wasn’t missing Yuno, she was dreading meeting her. She did long for how Yuno made her forget about everything, and especially for the physical part of their relationship. The real Yuno, however, she wouldn’t be ready to meet again for another hundred years. With what face would she even look at the girlfriend she still loved but had hurt and would hurt again if Reiko gave her any opening? She couldn’t not be frank about the kiss, but she could never tell her, it would destroy everything, give proof to her suspicions. And how would they work after that? They had to, Ari wanted them to stay together.
“I don’t like seeing you and Reiko-san so far apart.”
Umino’s voice made her jump. Ari couldn’t even remember where she was and had to look around. The changing room, way, way in the back. She’d taken a quick shower after the play so not to meet Reiko there. “It’s hard to spend time with her when you’re glued by the hip,” Ari joked, despite being true that the kiss hasn’t affected their blooming relationship. Maybe the lessons had improved Reiko’s flirting abilities. “And I don’t want to get in the way of your romance when we have such limited free time here.”
“We’re not an item, we’ve just been spending time while Reiko’s best friend has been ignoring her. To think she’d looked forward to not having to worry about Odachin!”
“You’re dating, how can that not make you an item?”
Umino touched her lips with her index finger, tapping the spot as she gave it some thought. “I believe that for us to be one, things would have to officialized. For now, I’m just keeping her company, which you can call going out on dates or just spending time together. But she’s not my girlfriend, that’s a certainty.”
“You’re two idiots.” Ari rolled her eyes. “There’s no paperwork officializing a relationship. You already dine together, you actually walk to and from here together, who knows what else you’ve been doing together. That’s more than I’ve done with some of my girlfriends.”
“I don’t want to be one of those, but…” She gave a slight smile. “You sound jealous.”
“I’m the one bringing the dumbest couple in the world together. I’m not jealous, I’m frustrated.” The last part was true, but there was no denying her jealousy. She’d have given everything to be the woman Reiko loved and had loved those many years.
“Come back to us, Arinko…” Umino did her best puppy eyes. “I miss talking with you.” She hugged Ari by the arm and laid her head on Ari’s shoulder. “Reiko-san also misses you a lot.”
“I’m right here!” But hadn’t had a proper talk with Reiko since that night. How much did Umino know? That she never learned about the kiss, about how Ari had betrayed her friend, cheated on her girlfriend… All for a single moment.
“You know those medieval castles surrounded by this huge mound with alligators all over? We’re standing right at the entrance, clapping our hands for you to lower the gates.”
Ari could only force a laughter at the dramatic metaphor.
“If you’re really still my friend, I need you to tell me one thing.” Umino stared.
“I…”
“I promise I won’t bother with this ever again if only you give me this answer.”
“W-what do you mean?” Did she suspect about the kiss? Had Reiko told her and now she wanted to know if Ari had feelings for her non-official girlfriend? That was a weird request. Why would you demand something from a friend and promise not to ask more? That only made sense if Umino knew there would be more. In fact, if she knew there was something specific to be asked. All sorts of alarms were sounding inside Ari’s head and her eyes automatically searched for escape routes. Umino stood still, staring. She’d wait until Ari agreed? “You’ll be my friend and never ask me anything? Not even to borrow my makeup?” she tried to jest but she sounded too squeaky, too desperate. It wasn’t for nothing; she could almost hear Umino ask how she’d felt about the kiss.
“Wow, if you want to take it so literally, I won’t even ask to pay you a meal then.” She winked. “But seriously, I just need this one answer.”
“I…”
Umino didn’t give her time to form whatever sentence she’d meant to. “Would you be Reiko’s girlfriend?”
“What the hell? Umi-san! I’d never steal your girlfriend!” Kisses didn’t count that way, but it still weighed on her mind as she stated it.
“Not my girlfriend, remember?”
“Stop saying that. Don’t you love her? And she’s going out with you. Stop treating her like she doesn’t mean anything.”
“I’ve always admired her, since before she transferred. And before everything, I felt attracted to her the way we musumeyaku always do. Of course, the more we worked together, the more my feelings developed. When we were announced as the new top combi, my heart would flutter just from hearing her name.”
“In other words, you love her.”
“Maybe I loved her like an older brother?”
“But that’s not how it is now. Is it?” Who’d agree to date their own sibling? And Umino’s eyes toward Reiko were anything but sisterly.
Umino’s cheeks blushed. “No, I guess not.” Good for Reiko, it was the first time Ari got confirmation that the note from so many years ago was requited. Perhaps, if Reiko did go through with and found another way to confess to Umino then, she’d gotten her during the more platonic phase of her feelings and things hadn’t worked out. But now seemed to be the perfect time; their feelings were mutual. “And yet,” she continued still acting embarrassed, “I’m not used to feeling like this. I think that’s why I feel more at ease when we’re being friends, as it’s always been.”
“It’s a process, but the feelings are there,” Ari insisted.
“What about what I asked, would you be her girlfriend?” Umino noticed Ari’s hesitation and complemented, “We’d share her, and Yuno is totally okay with this.”
“That’s crazy. And why do you want to know if I’m into your girlfriend? It’s almost as if you’re trying to get rid of Reiko-san.”
“There are many types of relationships.”
“You mean you want, like, an open relationship?”
Umino was thoughtful for an instant. “More like polyamory, I guess?” Maybe Ari had gasped at the suggestion, maybe her eyes had jumped too much. That was sounding less and less like an investigation of whether Umino had love rivals and more like a proposal. “Stop overthinking, Ari. That’s so not you!”
“But…”
“Odachin is cute and smart, I like that.”
“Are you after my girlfriend?” Ari tried to sound jealous, but it came out more like she was defensive.
Umino smirked. “She’d also be mine.”
“Reiko-san is in love with you, this question makes no sense at all, Umi-san. I won’t even start with how that would make Haru feel.” The images of the kiss resurfaced, and Ari had to shake her head until it ached enough to forget them.
“I’m asking about you. Suppose Odachin is in and Reiko-san is in. And you?”
For the first time, Ari pondered over the question. It was still absurd, she knew Yuno would never, and wasn’t Reiko too conventional for those things? She’d be miserable after the first week. But what about herself? She’d be in the perfect situation neither Umino nor Yuno would get hurt. To be frank, perhaps she’d already been in a platonic relationship with Reiko, at least on her side. That was what Yuno had kept trying to show her the last few months. She could only profit as long as everyone agreed.
And yet… “No. I wouldn’t.” Ari had needed so much effort to take that decision, she felt breathless.
“For real?” Umino’s mouth was fully open, and she’d taken a step back.
“It’s not you, it’s me?” Ari joked, but didn’t have success in clearing up the air. “No, it’s Reiko-san,” she said, but had to take a moment to recollect her thoughts. If Umino still didn’t think they were “official”, then it would be out of the line to say the whole truth, that Ari knew the person Reiko loved was Umino. Bringing two other people into the mix would only pile up to awkwardness and dissatisfaction, when having Umino was already perfectness to her. If Ari were in Reiko’s shoes, she’d never want to share the person she really loved. But she couldn’t be that direct, and Umino looked anxiously at her, waiting for her explanation. “I do love Reiko,” she started planning to take it slowly so she’d understand, but Umino’s gasp made her hurry. “She’s my precious friend, maybe the top of my list, of course I love her.” Ari took a breath having clarified what wasn’t a lie but wasn’t the truth anymore, not since the kiss. “I also find her beautiful.” The most beautiful, but that would be going too far needlessly. “And I want the best for her. I’m sure a harem isn’t it. She can very well be with the woman she loves, why complicate it?”
“You think she’s beautiful, you get along with her super well, and she’s accepting the deal, but you’re still saying no? I don’t get it.”
Ari would have to fight her hardest ever if that proposal were real. Being hypothetical, however, it was easier to distinguish the best way to solve it. And she was certain she’d given the correct answer. “Umi-san, just… Just be happy. Make her happy, too. Stop thinking about the others, including me. What I want the most is for Reiko-san to be happy.”
“I told you she’d be in.”
“Then, she doesn’t know what she wants.” Ari flicked Umino’s forehead. As she complained, Ari continued firmer than before. “My answer is still no.”
Umino stayed silent, fingers on the spot Ari had hit, but eyes glazing over. “I don’t like the feeling that we’re both losing you.” She exhaled loudly. “I did promise I’d only ask one question, though.”
“It’s how starts of relationships are, but I’m right here.” Just miles away from Reiko until she could do what she was supposed to. Reiko’s voice repeated it in her head, ‘Please, let’s not think about it.’
Oblivious but not entirely, Umino gave her a nod and pulled her for a tight hug that lasted long. “Then we’re alright,” she murmured against Ari’s neck. “I’m glad.”
Were they, when she’d just offered her own girlfriend? One thought haunted Ari. That maybe Reiko had come clean about the kiss, that Umino knew everything, and that was the reason she assured she wouldn’t ask Ari about it.
Had they already reached a point of no return?
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