Author: Anita
Fandom: Takarazuka Kagekidan (RPF)
Characters: Asaka Manato / Ranju Tomu
Genre: yuri, romance
Rating: PG
Status: complete
Summary: Before her transfer to Soragumi, Manato has written a love letter declaring her love to Tomu. Even though it wasn’t signed when her troupe got their hands on it, it still hurt her to have everyone mock on her feelings.
Notes: Story written for the Takarazuka Week, a writing challenge promoted by the community Saint Seiya Super Fics Journal.
The whole troupe was already too excited to simply calm down when their top star arrived at the room. It didn’t help that the one stirring most of that agitation was the woman’s classmate, Sou Kazuho. Letting out a hysterical laughter, Sou decided to restart what she had been doing before the arrival, and kneeled down in front of her friend, emulating a proposal. One of her arms were held high and did flourished movements, as the other one had a firm grip on the letter. The same letter that had been going around all of the troupe members.
“For so long you have made my heart beat faster than one could say was possible,” proclaimed Sou, starting to enter some kind of character as she nonchalantly smiled after each sentence. “Truth is that I will always love you, Mayu-san!” She finished after some minutes, and took Mayu’s hand to give a resounding kiss on its back. Only then the woman stood up to turn and greet her audience.
Now, it was Mayu’s laughter that echoed, while bending her back and holding her stomach.
“Where was all of that love hiding all this time, Eritan?” she asked, hitting her friend’s arms slightly.
“Hold on, I’m just this good an actress. You’re no source of inspiration. At least, not for me.” Finally, she waved the letter in her hands. “It’s just something the girls were reading when I arrived.” She smiled and, at the same time, raising both eyebrows. Then, she added: “That I’ve confiscated, of course.”
“Yeah, of course.” Mayu nodded several times, and finally turned to her troupe, seeming to count heads for a while. “I think we can begin the rehearsal now we’ve all warmed up thanks to Eritan.”
In response, the other did an elegant bow and grinned.
“Always a pleasure to serve my muse,” she said.
---
“Sorry, I have no idea,” replied one more girl, to Manato’s chagrin.
It didn’t matter how many times she asked to read the letter Sou had showed to their top star earlier, no one could say exactly what its fate had been. Secretly, Manato crossed her fingers it had been thrown away somewhere, the way many had assumed.
Truth was it felt that her heart had been broken into a gazillion pieces when she noticed Mayu was laughing at the words written by her. Of course, the woman had taken it as nothing but a prank by her classmate. Still, it was a very realistic glimpse of what could have happened had Manato signed her love letter.
Looking at the calendar hung on the wall, she scratched her head and sighed. Her plan had been to open up about her feelings toward Mayu before her transference to Soragumi. Too coward to say it out loud, she had written it all down but never got to sign it. She should have known it would end up getting lost; worse, found by the others. Now, rested the feeling of mortification to comfort her.
The days would pass, surely. No one ever knew the author of the prank; thus, she would be fine. But that was only outside. In reality, her interior was burning in fever, so thorn she was on what to do from now on. She needed to speak to Mayu before it was too late. They had been separated before. It didn’t matter how many times people repeated that Takarazuka was one, it really wasn’t. Things would never be the same after her reassignment, and she would always wonder what could have been.
Her top star was basically a workaholic. Manato had only met her when she was graduating from being a kakyuusei. Even then, she had always been focused on the theater, and saw nothing else. It was no wonder people time and again misjudged her, such as when Manato’s classmates from Soragumi enquired her about Mayu when the woman had been transferred there. Nonetheless, it never took long for people to notice how heartwarming and passionate she was. The ideal otokoyaku, as Manato had always considered her to be.
For so many reasons, it wasn’t hard to imagine that someone could come and snatch her away any time in spite of all. One day, a person would be brave enough and, maybe, Mayu would gladly accept that love. Moving out from Hanagumi, Manato would be so distant, it would be too late when she finally noticed her defeat. And also because there was a possibility to get to Mayu’s heart that she too wanted a shot at that.
Mayu’s face at that time just hadn’t been a good push that way. For many nights, Manato had nightmares in which that mocking laughter had been directed at her, as the answer to her confession. It hurt. She knew it hadn’t been Mayu’s intention. The woman would never do anything close to that. And yet... it hurt.
As the days went by, the story seemed to start quieting down, and the girls came to give up on the guessing game of whose handwriting matched the letter’s. Additionally, there was general consensus that it could have been really a joke, and perhaps some outsider had written it for whoever the mastermind was.
All becoming part of history, and with their national tour not over yet, Manato began mustering courage to declare her feelings again. Watching her beloved one shine on stage everyday certainly helped. Surely, she was still cautious. Conscious that at any time someone could notice her feelings and link them to the letter incident. So, not only was she not enjoying much of those remaining days in heaven but she also didn’t have the guts to write to the woman one more time.
But it was all revived when the story reached the other troupes. Even Beni, her classmate now in Hoshigumi, had once called her one day to confirm the happening. As much as Manato urged to deny it all, she had to narrate every excruciating second of that fastidious morning.
As soon as the other troupes seemed to take an interest, the matter became hot again even inside Hana. They had come up with a whole new game consisting of many fake letters to declare their love to Mayu. At least, the woman didn’t encourage it this time. Ultimately, they were asked by Sou to stop with the love letters. Following this, the letters were resumed, now addressed to Sou, who enjoyed the attention more than expected. Her only demand was that there were praises and that they were for real.
Every second of her last days in Hanagumi seemed to alternate between her last drops of heaven, - impersonated by her muse, - and sheer hell. The tour ended up being so stressful to her, she started to wish for it to end once and for all. At the point things had come to be, there was no way she could even consider coming clean with Mayu.
She did regret such coward thought the moment she had to bid goodbye to her beloved one. Still unable to put into words how much she loved that person, Manato walked away feeling dispirited, lost. Miserable. It was too late now, she noticed that first night after her name had gone from Hanagumi to Soragumi.
---
She couldn’t believe it was already September. The days had seemed to drag as she fought to adapt in the new surroundings and, at the same time, it was now like they had flown by her. There was only one person who could have that turnabout effect on Manato.
And her ears hadn’t fooled her: the girls from her new troupe were really chattering about that woman. Why? Should she try to find out? So many months had passed, and her body still was still conscious of its behavior whenever it concerned Mayu. Manato clicked her tongue at her own silliness, and followed the crowd.
Dark skinned, sparkling ear pierce, dazzling blue clothes. It was really her or just a dream? She watched the woman from afar, as Mayu walked through the hallways and animatedly talked to Manato’s current troupe peers. No surprise there, they had been together for many years. How many times hadn’t she engaged in a chat to answer about how Mayu was doing nowadays? To her relief, it had helped her break the ice, as that had probably been what she most had in common with those girls in the beginning.
This time, however, as many followed Mayu into a room prepared for her photo shoot, Manato felt her stomach turn. It burned. Something evil was moving inside her. She clenched her fist and tried to concentrate on the woman. The ostensive makeup she only really used on stage, the glittering accessories that contrasted so well with the dark skin foundation, the frills dancing as she studied the best pose, the slightly long nails on her fingers...
“Manato-san!”
That call gave her a jolt.
“Oh, Ran-chan.”
The girl smiled back, also fully dressed for the photo shoot. But Manato couldn’t find enough energy to play with her. Within seconds, her eyes were again trapped by Mayu.
“She looks so good with that tanned skin, doesn’t she?” Ran sighed close to her ear.
Around Manato, many had much deeper comments on the top star. Despite the small distraction - she was already used to Ran’s fan-girling over Mayu - the glances her troupe mates threw at the woman she loved started eating her once more.
‘Go kiss your own Top’s feet,’ she thought, vaguely aware of how her nails pierced through the palm of her hands. ‘You had her for too many years, she’s not yours anymore!’
“Okay, let’s begin!” Mayu said more to her audience than to the photographer.
Manato took a deep breath and gulped.
“You’re too cool, Mayu-san!” she shouted, holding back the tears that came welling up around her eyes.
Despite her voice having failed at the last syllable, no one seemed to care. Instead, all of the girls seemed to join her enthusiasm and started cheering on the top star.
“Mayu-san, try that pose!” Her classmate Yuuya was waving her arm to call for her attention.
Without hiding how much that had fired her up, Mayu continued to attend the requests. The more she did, the more Manato tried to outvoice her friends. For she had forgotten all about the distance put between them two, and her resolution in pretending to have nothing to do with that very first love letter. Now she was a feverous fan, the most dedicated one in that room. And it was the truth: there was no way anyone could love Mayu as much as she did.
By the end of the session, her throat was feeling sore, so dry it had become, and her face was full of tears. When her friends started commenting on how excited she had seemed, reality hit her once more.
Now that it was Ran’s turn to be photographed, and Mayu started organizing her things to go back as well, little by little the girls started leaving the room. Manato stood there for as long as she could, taking in the air that the woman had breathed, trying not to cry. That was her life now: having sudden but brief encounters with that person, then seeing her disappear.
She tried to move so people walking out of the room wouldn’t stand in her way, but still block her from being seen by Mayu. As the queue to leave got smaller, her chest started to feel small. It was really time. Breathing in, she turned to Ran and made her best to wave to the girl, who answered with a very wide wave and smile. Finally, Manato turned to her beloved Mayu. It was impossible to suppress a sigh before bowing softly to her former top star.
As much as she had shouted to cheer on Mayu before, she felt the double, no, the triple as wretched the moment the door closed behind her. Until then, Manato hadn’t noticed how empty her days without that woman had been, so frantic she had been about getting into Soragumi’s rhythm.
Now, it was too patent to neglect.
---
Even though the performances for Hanagumi were not over in Tokyo yet, the Soragumi had already arrived at the theater to rehearse for their own run in the capital. Mayu had been looking forward for such news. She hurried towards the room where the main cast was supposed to go, and patiently waited at the entrance until a redhead could be sighted walking down the hallway.
Smiling at Manato, she greeted her as casually as possible. Since that day in September, many weeks have passed without the two meeting. Mayu had tried contacting her junior on her cell phone to no avail, so this was the only way she had found to finally talk to the girl.
“Mayu-san...” she mumbled, looking at her surroundings as her new friends passed by them with curiosity.
“Could you follow me for some minutes?”
Frowning, Manato seemed to retract her body discreetly.
“I need to rehearse now...” she finally answered, taking a step toward the closest room.
“Don’t worry, it won’t take more than five minutes, you’ll be back in time.”
“But... is there anything wrong?” For some reason, there was panic reflected in her eyes, as they ran away from Mayu’s gaze.
“I just wanted to talk for a while. Could we?”
Finally complying, Manato followed her to another room, which was much smaller than the ones they used for group rehearsals. She certified no one seemed to be going in that direction, and closed the door. Finally looking back to the girl, Mayu sighed at her visible helplessness.
“Did something happen, Maa-kun?”
“Well, I was wondering that.” She returned a nervous smile.
“Same as me. The last time we met, you seemed so strange. Is everything going well in Soragumi? Could you make friends?”
“Oh, yeah, yeah.” Her eyes tilted from one corner to another, as if forming an escape route. “Don’t worry, Mayu-san. I’m very good!” She then proceeded to walk toward the door.
“But I am worried.”
Manato seemed to halt upon hearing it, and threw a quick glance at her before retracting her body once more. Mayu decided to explain:
“Since before you transferred, I thought you were acting strange but I can’t say I don’t know how those things are. So, I just let you be. There was nothing I could do to help you.”
“I understand, Mayu-san. As I said, I’m fine. Really! Maybe, you’re just confusing things. I’ve been rehearsing a lot, trying to improve. You know, this was my big shot. I need to make it.”
“Indeed, I was very happy to see on the poster. You were so pretty too, I’m sure the fan girls are going crazy.”
At this, Manato let out a chuckle, as her cheeks seem to be tinted in red.
“So, there is nothing going on in your new troupe...?” Mayu repeated, and waited for the other to nod. Then, she took a deep breath and couldn’t help but frown. “And things are normal? You’re fine, in general?”
“Yes, please, don’t be so concerned.” She laughed it off, seeming to speak honestly. “I’d better go now. It was nice seeing you again, Mayu-san.” Her last words sounded somewhat sad, as her voice faded softly.
“One more question, and you’re free.”
Tension appeared to have taken back the control of the girl’s body. Looking hesitant at the door, she inclined her head so Mayu could continue.
“I’ve been wondering for a while as to why you’ve been looking strange, and now I seem to have eliminated all other options.” Opening the bag on her shoulder, Mayu retrieved something from inside and stretched her arms in order to show it. “Why haven’t you ever told me about this letter?”
“W-what?” The girl’s eyes examined the paper from afar, as though it could burn her fingers if she touched it. “You... had it?”
Softly, Mayu nodded.
“It was just a joke, Mayu-san.” Finally taking back the letter, Manato showed a wide smile. Then she shook her head. “I’m sorry, I never thought it would take such proportions. That’s why I couldn’t come forward, right? Not after Sou-san did all that.” Continuing to chuckle, she began to fidget with the paper. “I’m so sorry,” she repeated. “But, how did you know?”
“I compared your handwriting. After I read this calmly, I noticed how beautiful the words were, so I had to find out who had written it.” It was now Mayu’s turn to blush and look downward. “And to apologize for how I have reacted. I should have known better when Eritan told me it wasn’t hers. Known that someone could not be enjoying that whole spectacle. And I wasn’t able to stop her and the whole troupe from continuing with the joke. I’m sorry for that as well.”
“Mayu-san!” Manato struck her softly on the shoulder. “What are you saying! I told you: it was just a joke, a prank. You know, like a farewell gift?”
Frustrated, Mayu examined the girl for a long moment. But her time was up, and Manato already moved toward the door, bowing a goodbye.
“I really need to go now. It was great talking to you. Sorry for all of the letter thing. Really.” She chuckled once more.
“Could I keep it?” Mayu asked, pointing at the letter.
“What?” Her eyes were filled with disbelief, as she looked at her hand.
“I told you, I like it very much. Could I keep it? As a farewell gift from you?”
For a second, it seemed like the girl was about to tear it up and throw it in the nearest trash. However, she finally gave in and drew out her hand to give the letter back. And left without exchanging another word.
Mayu breathed out as soon as the door closed, and she was left alone inside the room. Scratching her head, she stared again at the piece of paper in her hands.
---
As soon as Manato entered the rehearsal room the next morning, she felt her body freeze. It was back, she screamed in the inside. The letter was back into her life. One of the girls now held it out and read it to a small group. The paper was basically the same, and many kept whispering something about Hanagumi. To make things worse, now people were looking right at her. Their murmurs never ceasing.
She still couldn’t believe her encounter with Mayu the day before. The way the woman had known who the author was, and how she had been so direct in enquiring about her real feelings. Manato felt devastated. Partially, because she had been unable to come clean, and simply declare her feelings for the woman. But it was mostly for it had gone all wrong. Disappointment had been visible in Mayu’s eyes. And it hadn’t been for nothing. After all, how could Manato lie about playing a prank on a woman she respected so much?
So this was her punishment? Mayu had given the letter to someone in her troupe, and probably signed it on her behalf. Manato smirked, while resignedly walking toward the girl holding the paper. Mikaze Maira; being close enough, she could finally recognize. Well, being the one with the letter a classmate of the woman, the case was closed.
“Maa-kun!” Maira greeted her affectedly, and then waved the letter in her hands. “Look at what I found!”
“A letter?” she asked with a gulp. What would be the consequences? Would she be bullied? For deriding Mayu or for having lesbian feelings? Well, the worst had already happened the previous day, and she had survived it. The way the woman had looked at her... It was a worrisome that such was the thought she had to soothe herself.
“Yes! It’s addressed to you, I think...” She finally offered the carefully folded paper.
Manato took it while focusing in not allowing her hands to shake as she did so. There was a golden, round sticker that sealed the content. Maira hadn’t opened it? Why had it seemed that she was reading to the others? Skimming her eyes through the familiar paper, she found a quick handwritten line that read “To Asuka-san”.
“I’m not sure of everyone’s name though,” Maira finally completed. “I was asking around, and we think it is for you. If it isn’t... well, we’ll look around further.”
“I vote we recite it to Rika-san!” one of the juniors suggested, making the group laugh.
“You do it yourself, then,” another answered, causing an even stronger response.
“I wish I had followed Mayu-san, her team looks braver...” said the first junior.
The chat seemed to continue as they revived the anonymous letter story but Manato had her focus only on the paper in her hands. Was it from that woman? If it really were retribution, why seal it?
“C’mon, what’s written?” Maira stretched her head in genuine curiosity. “Open it! It looks like a love letter, doesn’t it?” she said, giggling like a schoolgirl.
As Manato thought of how good life could be if it were so simple, she looked back to the now open letter, and wondered for a long while whether her eyes weren’t fooling her. She had to be reading wrong; she frowned while repeating so to herself.
“Oooh! It is! Isn’t it?” The woman in front of her gave a few skips.
Manato read again the content:
‘To Asuka-san,
I knew you were lying; and yet, I wasn't brave enough to confront you. Truth is that I love you but I took too long to find out about my feelings, so I hurt you in the process. I'm sorry, I'm very sorry. Can you forgive me? Can you give me a chance? Can you be honest this time, and let me know if it really is too late? I’ll be waiting for you in the last place we met so we two can continue from where we stopped that day or simply put the final dot on this.’
It wasn’t signed. But there couldn’t be anyone else able to make her smile the way she did at the moment.
“You know who it is from, don’t you?” Maira asked, not suppressing a grin. That made Manato doubt she was as innocent as she had been playing to be.
“I...” Her feelings were so overwhelming, however, that she wasn’t sure of what she was trying to answer.
Lifting her eyebrows, the other woman offered:
“You have an upset stomach and will try to return after lunch?”
Not remembering to thank Maira for the support, Manato ran out of the room toward the smaller one from the previous day. The same one she thought she would never be emotionally ready to set foot in again. It felt like her heart could jump out and get there ahead, so strongly it kept beating.
‘Dang, I could have a cardiac arrest from this!’ she thought, smiling so silly she had to hit her own face to calm down before opening the door.
That woman said she loved her? Was that why she had asked all of that? That woman loved her? That woman? Her? A million more of these thoughts galloped through her head until the time her eyes met Mayu’s. Then, it went blank.
“You came...” the woman said so simply. Was it a surprise?
“You asked... I think.” Manato shook the now cramped piece of paper in her hand. Only then, she noticed how hard her whole body was trembling.
“Can you give me your answer?” Mayu walked a few steps in her direction but they were still too far.
Too far!
Manato still tried to nod but she was unable to contain herself any longer. Thus, she threw her body forward and jumped on the woman just like a dog celebrating her owner’s arrival after a long day alone. After doing so, she hugged Mayu tightly against her body, burying her head on the woman’s neck to feel the touch and the warmth of her skin.
“It’s you, it’s really you who wrote this...” Manato’s voice failed as she said so.
“Maa-kun?”
“What?”
Mayu pulled them a few inches apart and started into her eyes.
“You still haven’t really answered me...” But a soft chuckle followed this.
Soon, they were kissing. Not like it was their first time but just like a couple who missed one another. Her lips were soft, nostalgic and sweet. Manato couldn’t believe she could finally feel them for real, brushing against her mouth, her chin, her neck.
“I’m sorry for lying,” she murmured, gasping for air before meeting Mayu’s lips once more.
“I’m sorry for not calling your lie.”
Her hands brushed Mayu’s hair, messing it at her will.
“How did you know I lied?”
“Because your smile was gone. Your beautiful smile that always seemed to be competing with the brightest things has been gone since the day I heard that letter. Had it been just a prank, I’m sure you would just laugh at me. And then, I’d be able to see your smile again. Things could be okay. But you never smiled. Even so, I tried to let you go; maybe you were so hurt you hated me.”
“Never! I really love you! I wrote it, remember? I could always sign it if you still have any doubts.”
As a response, Mayu simply resumed their kiss, so that all of her passion could be transmitted through the contact between their tongues.
“And I love you too much,” she said before initiating a new kiss. “Please, keep smiling for me.”
“As long as you’re with me… I wouldn’t be able not to, Mayu-san,” Manato answered, never ceasing to grin.
THE END!
Anita, 11/05/2013
Author Notes:
I would like to thank Goodoldbadmood for providing this prompt. Now the story is over, I feel like I could have done it much better with such a couple. I missed a lot I could have used so I now feel like writing one more about them. I hope I have the chance again!
And thank you a loooot for reading this! I hope to see you some other time. Please, don’t hesitate to send me suggestions and comments. Even a mere “I read it!” would make my day. :D
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