Author: Nemui
Fandom: Saint Seiya
Characters: Aquarius Camus
Genre: gen
Rating: G
Summary: A short fic with Camus revealing his feelings after being defated in Aquarius Temple. It´s some kind of posthumous memory…
I´m dead. But it doesn´t matter. Alive or dead, my mission as master is over. Hyoga reached the absolute zero and not a single ice saint can beat him now, my defeat in this battle is proof enough. My mission was accomplished.
But Hyoga, forgive me. The memories of your mother really kept you from reaching the seventh sense, though taking her from you wasn´t a solution. The fact wasn´t that you, forgetting that obsession, would be able to focus more in the battle. The truth is that you are a lonely warrior, even among your loyal friends. And your escape was your mother.
I understand you. Maybe because I´m running away as well. Maybe because I am like that too. But my escape was different. I came to believe I didn´t need any friends. I came to think a warrior could grow stronger if he forgot all about his feelings. But you proved me wrong. Why would I protect the world if I didn´t have, not even for an instant, tasted the joys and beauties it offers us? Not only nature, but the relationships that bind men together as well?
You protected the people you loved in this battle and for this reason I lost. Because your reasons were stronger than mine. While I fought blindfolded, you could see further than anyone else. I had lost since the beginning. Since the first time you stood up against me. I was already dead.
I was hiding, Hyoga. Protecting myself. Maybe because I was like you. I didn´t have a shoulder to cry on. I had no one. I´m like this since I can´t remember. Maybe it happened when I saw my mother sprawled on the ground, her blood staining my feet. Maybe it was when her killer became my master. Maybe when I found out he was my father. But it all ceased to matter the moment I was defeated by you.
The truth is, Hyoga, that I grew up alone, and the years dried my remaining tears. As the Siberian wind soothed your anger, Hyoga, so it soothed mine. But I pretended this feeling wasn´t building up inside of me, turning into sadness. Hyoga, forgive me. We both carried heavy burdens, maybe way too heavy, and we never shared them. I never knew how to behave like a father, even being a stepfather. Even less the stepfather of a boy who learned so early in life the meaning of loneliness. I shouldn´t have run from it. I knew I´d be the only father in your life.
And you overcame it by yourself. You turned the table, fighting for your friends, for the people with whom you could share your burden. While I continued to carry mine alone. The principle for which you´re fighting came to life, and at that very moment I died. I could have done it differently, I know I could. There were many people who opened their hearts to me. But I kept on running. I´m an idiot, Hyoga.
I know it´s too late to say that, my disciple. I know you can´t hear any of this. Because now you´re resting after freeing the Sanctuary of all evil, after showing the world your courage, revealing the truth buried years ago. Because afterwards you will enjoy happiness by the side of your beloved ones and you won´t be able to hear these words.
Your feelings, from now on, will lead you to a terrible war. But I´m sure you will learn to use them to achieve victory. You, along with your friends, are going to be a model warrior to me, your master, and to the future saints. From now on you won´t hide in your memories anymore. You´ll lead fearlessly your path towards happiness. And as your father, all I can wish is for you to be successful in that long journey I was afraid of accomplishing. I don´t want you to restrain yourself because of me, Hyoga, I never left the darkness.
* THE END *
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