Author: Anita
Fandom: Phoenix Wright
Characters: Phoenix Wright, Miles Edgeworth, Larry Buttz
Genre: humor
Rating: G
Summary: Phoenix goes to Miles’s office to find out what present he wanted for Christmas, only to discover a very curious wish list probably written by the prosecutor himself. Will he fulfill Miles’s secret desires?
Notes: Story written for the Secret Coconut, a fic exchange promoted by the community Saint Seiya Super Fics Journal.
It’s not set in any specific time of the story, though I’d risk saying it could be after Miles’s first game but no one from there makes any appearance. It’s just a silly story, lol.
Grown-up Christmas List
As
used to going to that office as he were, Phoenix wouldn’t usually care
that it was empty the moment he let himself in. However, the main reason
he had gone all the way to the Prosecutor Office had been exactly to
talk to Miles Edgeworth, who was nowhere to be found at the moment.
After
scanning the room, Phoenix decided to wait for a while and see if the
other man would return. After all, he had let that afternoon free only
for that mission: to find out how to compensate his childhood friend for
his support in his most recent case.
Thanks
to Edgeworth’s advices and even a little bit of his investigation, a
person was able to go back to his family, free of all false accusations.
Despite being so busy with his own tasks, that had only piled up during
his absence due to a long travel, the prosecutor had always been
available for any consultation involving that trial. Not only that; when
all had seemed to be lost, Edgeworth encouraged Phoenix to persist in
the name of unveiling the truth. For that reason, mere thanks could
never suffice. A gift was needed and, with Christmas being the following
week, what better occasion to force the other to accept one?
Maybe
he could find a hint of his friend’s tastes just by looking at what was
exposed there at his office. Fuchsia had definitely to be his favorite
color, Phoenix thought while walking around the room and observing the
omnipresent color. Case files and Law papers, however, were just a given
to be there. Or perhaps he could present him with some updated version
of those books…? On a second thought, it was too boring.
Flowers?,
he considered upon noticing a bouquet with a card signed simply
“Wendy”. From a girl, huh? Then, flowers from a dude would surely be
unnecessary if he already has a chick. Right next to the vase, there was
also a… statue? Oh, that was Steel Samurai, the live action hero that
always seemed to find its way into the most intricate cases and of which
Phoenix’s assistant, Maya, was a big fan. It was signed by some Wendy
as well. Now Phoenix remembered examining this during a previous visit
to the office. Well, Edgeworth must certainly like that Wendy girl a lot
to have such a childish thing constantly exposed in his workplace.
While
smirking at the thought, Phoenix felt he had stepped onto something. A
light crumbled paper lay on the carpet, right next to the prosecutor’s
chair. The symbol of the Prosecution was printed on its top, and the
handwriting looked so neat it could only be something of uttermost
importance that had wound up down there in some way. Furrowing, Phoenix
retrieved it in relief it hadn’t been sought by the cleaning lady;
otherwise, it would have been too late.
‘Whoah, this is!’ Phoenix thought as he felt his hands shake.
It
wasn’t that he had intended to read its content. Nonetheless, he had
acquired the habit to pay attention to each detail due to the dirty part
of his job. Even if he wasn’t a private detective, his clients could
only count on him to find and prove the contradictions in the
indictments. As a consequence, anything seemingly trivial, even a
discarded piece of dirty paper, could literally come to save a life. It
wasn’t the case now, evidently. Be that as it may, his eyes couldn’t
help falling into the bad habit. For such reason, they had read what
seemed to be godsend: “Wish List” was impeccably written with a fountain
pen.
There
wasn’t much more time to think straight for a creak sound let him know
someone had arrived at the office. He didn’t consider the implications,
he didn’t even know beyond the fact that such handwriting was extremely
similar to Edgeworth’s. Thanks to his other acquired skills – call it
bad habit again, if you really want to, – he managed to hide the list
inside his blue suit, and look sheepishly at the newcomer.
“Wright,
what are you doing inside my office unattended?” The prosecutor scowled
at him, as he walked toward his table. “Don’t tell me you came to
purloin more evidence for your cases. Someday, I’m still going to
straight up that intolerable compulsion of yours.”
Smiling nervously, Wright just gulped in response.
---
As
soon as Phoenix was free to finally leave the building – to think that
the he had come to talk to Edgeworth, and that came to be the most
useless part of the day – he eagerly fumbled through his pockets for the
paper.
His jaw dropped the next second. Right at the top, the item written as number one in that wish list was none less than an action figure.
Then, there were a couple of trading cards, DVD’s, and a whole bunch of
Steel Samurai merchandise. It looked more like a toy store storage list
than what Edgeworth could ever want for Christmas. And one store
specialized in the live action at that.
“What the hell…?” Phoenix swore out loud, his mind not even registering he was standing in the middle of the street.
Rubbing his chin, he gave it another try. There was nothing
that seemed proper for a grown man. Or even for a teenager. An
eight-year-old’s letter to Santa. Would even Maya be interested in all
those sundries? Well, maybe that doll at the top. She had indeed been
babbling about it the other day. Something about a recall? That she
couldn’t find it anywhere. Great, a broken toy was the top of the
Edgeworth’s wish list.
What
use would it have for him, anyway? Was he looking for it to give it to
some young relative? Oh, it could be. Phoenix felt relief with the
thought that it could indeed be Edgeworth’s the piece of paper he had
borrowed. Maybe he had a nephew in Germany, and the Steel Samurai wasn’t
very popular there. Then, he meant to present his nephew’s with toys
requested by the little pal.
Phoenix
rubbed his chin once more and finally let out a smile. From the way
Edgeworth cared for his stepsister, that was a genuine family guy. Well,
if Maya was correct about that product recall, Edgeworth would keep
looking for that first item in the list eternally. However, Phoenix
could now remember why his assistant had gone through the trouble of
even mentioning that to him: Phoenix Wright could save his friend’s day
and get the doll! Figure. Blah! Figure, doll. Whatever.
Anyway,
what mattered was that, not a long time ago, Phoenix had defended
someone who had that doll. Figure. Thing. Now, according to Maya, he
seemed to be auctioning it on the internet, and not for what it was
really worth. According to his assistant, it was just a symbolic price.
In consequence, she had been bugging him to contact that person and ask
whether he could sell it to her instead.
She
had tried to go see him personally once but Maya had been out of town
at the time of his trial, so she had never really met the client.
Therefore, he ended up suspecting her – also due to her atypical
clothes, as well as her inadequate age for a toy, Phoenix assumed – and
demanded for the lawyer to pay him a visit in case that were the truth.
Because it was just a toy, Phoenix had thought it wouldn’t be proper to
impose on such a nice person. However, his mind had just changed.
After all, it was for Edgeworth’s and his German nephew’s sake.
---
Miles
gazed at his cell phone screen as he waited for Phoenix Wright to
arrive at the restaurant. However, the received menssage sender wasn’t
him but a friend in common, Larry Butz. “It’s alright now, I took care
of everything.” Rolling his eyes at the content, the prosecutor put the
device back into his suit pocket. As usual, he had no idea of what that
person meant, nor did he feel eager to know. It sounded illegal anyway.
That, or Larry was just drunk in some end-of-year party.
Which
reminded him of the reason he was meeting with Wright that evening.
According to the attorney, it was also supposed to be a celebration.
Well, Miles had indeed been crucial to his latest success, so he
expected that his friend was willing to at least buy him dinner.
It
was a good way to take his mind off things. During the last few days,
the only success he had had was one of failures. One after the other,
they had piled on him with bad news.
All had started with the arrival of an email canceling his online preorder for the latest Steel Samurai figure. Before
the release date, a recall had been announced for the product, followed
by news of its discontinuation. Some had still made it into stores in
the main cities of the country but no shops really put them on their
shelves, for some had managed to reserve everything before the release
day. Miles was on the verge of using his authority as a prosecutor; then
again, it would probably have deemed useless like each of his
additional attempts.
At
last, one figure showed at an online auction. For an unreasonably low
price, too. Well, it was certain to go up the moment the bids started
anyway. And Miles would have done anything to be the one who remained
after that gory battle. However, that same day news that it had been
canceled arrived. Cancelled! And no, according to his online profile,
the person wasn’t willing to sell it again any time in future. Rumors
had it that someone had found out his real identity, and they settled
for a private deal. To Miles’s dismal, now there was no hope he could
attain that figure any longer.
That
was the reason why he had actually felt grateful to be invited that
evening. Maybe Wright and he could drink a little, have some fun until
the prosecutor was too tired to think of the object of his desire for
the day.
He
didn’t think such simple plans could still be ruined until his eyes
were presented with a ghost from his past. His wish list! Holding out
the believed to be lost piece of paper stood no one less than Phoenix
Wright.
“You
were right: I did borrow a little something from your office that day
last week.” The newcomer proceeded to take his seat, smiling nervously.
“M-my
list…?” What to do? Wasn’t it supposed to have been incinerated? Until
then, he had been sure the cleaning staff had taken it for trash… He
didn’t even have to read to remember how embarrassing most of the items
were.
“I
really wanted to give you a Christmas present for how you helped me
last time.” Wright sighed, and started looking at the menu. Just then,
Miles noticed the waiter had been waiting for their order. He quickly
asked for the first dish in his mind in order to resume the topic:
“A present? For me?” Miles gulped, trying not to create expectations.
Conversely,
if Wright really wanted to make him happy, anything on that list was
rare enough to make him tap-dance. Well, except for the videos. But who
was Miles to complain? He had put them on his wish list for the very
obvious reason that we wished for them. Not even Wright could be as stupid as to doubt it.
“I got that toy too. And some cards. Then I…”
“The figure?”
It wasn’t his intention to correct the defense attorney. Indeed, he had
felt an urge to explain that toys were for playing while that action
figure was meant for something much grander than that. Nevertheless, his
goal in asking was merely to confirm it. Miles really didn’t want to
feed his false hopes for was the closest he had got to his Steel Samurai
since that quest started. Upon noticing his friend’s puzzled
expression, Miles cleared his throat and rephrased: “You said you have
acquired the… toy. You mean the action figure I have listed as number one?”
“Oh!
Yeah, that. Yeah, yeah. That very one.” Wright broke into laughter,
which Miles was attempting to follow for he himself needed to
externalize just how ecstatic his insides felt at the moment. The
attorney lifted one hand then, and asked: “Please, let me say everything
before you laugh. So, yes, I had this client once, who had lost his
son. It was a bit of a tragedy, as you can imagine. And he works for the
company. Well, you don’t need full details but his son was also a fan
and little by little he’s been trying to sell his stuff. That’s how I
got most of the cards, and the doll too.”
Miles
was smiling so widely at the moment that the only nuisance he felt in
hearing the word doll was from the strain smiling caused in his cheeks.
As the other man didn’t seem to be finished yet, however, the prosecutor
made a gesture for him to continue.
“I
was there buying two of those DVD’s when I met Larry. And, you know,
we’re all friends but you two have been awfully close lately.”
“I wouldn’t really say that.”
“C’mon.” Wright lightly chuckled.
“Let me guess, Larry was involved in some mess again, and you couldn’t buy the DVD’s.”
“Ha
ha! Very likely, huh?” Nonetheless, he shook his head negatively. “He
laughed at me when I told him why I was getting all that”
Miles
nodded softly. Even though that list had been unmistakably written by
him, people wouldn’t easily believe that was really his hobby. It only
showed why he had to be more cautious of his image for no everyone was
capable of grasping Steel Samurai’s depth. Even so and despite the
attorney’s known abilities to find what he was not supposed to, it still
amazed Miles how that list had wound up with Wright.
“I’ll
appreciate from the heart all of your effort in getting such a rare
gift for myself, Wright” he decided to say, so no more time was lost
between him and his Steel Samurai.
“Actually, you almost got me there.”
“Huh?” Miles raised his eyebrows and threw his body defensively to the back.
“Right when Larry started laughing, it hit me. You said, that day, you’d straight up my intolerable compulsion.”
Wright seemed to think he was imitating Miles as he smugly moved his
mouth to repeat the prosecutor’s words. “But, well, after finding out
about your plan… Larry told me most of it, by the way. About how you
were planning to have a laugh at my expense but that you would donate
the toys to an orphanage later.”
“Oh, Larry did?” he asked skeptically.
Even
though it sounded like Larry had pursosefully saved him from losing
face, experience told Miles there was more to his friend’s intervention.
The Buttz’s involvement always came to a cost. Trying to appear calm,
Miles decided to enter that play.
“Well,
now you got me, Wright. But as you already have the action figure and
the rare trading cards, why don’t you let me go on with my plan anyway?”
“Not so fast!” As he pointed his finger in the air, the attorney seemed to think he was in court now.
But what was with that? Could he mean he’d keep it all to himself? Mere toys as he calls those collectible items?
“Don’t
worry, I have already donated the cards; I even bought the DVD’s to
donate them as well. And to the same orphanage you wanted. According to
Larry, I mean. It was kind of hard to find it though; the directions he
gave me were all funky.” Wright clicked his tongue, seemingly unaware
Larry had probably just made some name up.
“The
cards… and the DVD’s?” His hands were sweaty and Miles felt out of
breath as he hung to the last hope. He then bent over the dining table
and stared fixedly inside the other’s eyes. “That figure was extremely
rare, Wright. You didn’t waste it with children, right? I-I m-mean…
They’d fight for the… err, toy. Even break it too! And that could
probably get them more if it were sold.”
“Is that so?” After rubbing his chin for a moment, Wright displayed a weak smile.
“Yes! I can help with the auction and all!”
“Maya…”
Miles
interrupted him before Wright could make his own plans for an auction.
The prosecutor needed to grab control of that situation while his Steel
Samurai seemed so close.
“Don’t
bother her! I’ll personally take care of the sale and send the check I
your name to the orphanage.” Yes. As long as he controlled what happened
during that sale, Steel Samurai could finally go to where he belonged.
“No,
Edgeworth. What I mean is that… you see…” To Miles’s augmented torment,
Wright started to nervously scratch the back of his head. Finally, he
blurted out: “Maya wanted it so much, I couldn’t resist it when she
begged for that toy.” A chuckle followed. “I really can’t understand
what she sees in those silly toys, she even wanted the cards! But, for
those, I set my foot and now they are where they belong.”
No… No! Nothing was where it was supposed to be! He’d kill Larry for that. What the hell was that “alright”
in his message? And Wright could go together. Those damned children
too. And that weird assistant! How could they do that to him?
“Wright, you gave that rare Steel Samurai you had bought me to your assistant!?”
“I know we could have made good money with your idea. I’m sorry.”
“If you’re telling me you had already gone through such trouble, what do you get from finding out my… er… my plan?”
So close… The items in his list had been right there in front of him. They had all been so close…
“Nothing,
I’m giving you my story as a gift. Lesson learned: I’ll try to control
myself from borrowing evidence I’m not supposed to have from now on. I
swear. You got what you wanted, Edgeworth. And a very funny story of me
walking around town with that stupid toy. It was so heavy! How silly of
me to believe that paper could really be a grown-up Christmas list…”
After chuckling a little more, Wright got the glass of wine he had
ordered and raised it to the air. “Let’s toast. Along with that funny
story, dinner is also on me. For an adult, it makes more of a present
than a bunch of toys. Right? Edgeworth? Edgeworth? You’ve been kind of
quiet for a while. And look pale too… You’re… crying? Are you okay?
Edgeworth!?”
The End!
Anita, 24/07/2013
Author’s Notes:
This
was written in a day so forgive me for plot holes. I made the notes one
day and wrote the whole thing in the other. Not enough time to debate
with myself about the idea. I really should stop torturing Edgeworth
every semester but it seems my mind works on its own. Even when I try to
make a slash, more trolling comes out of it (no this one wasn’t
supposed to be a slash).
By
the way, this is not my first story in English but it is clearly not my
first language and, even though I do my best to improve, it’s also not
my focus when it comes to writing fanfics. Thus, I’m really sorry for
how lacking I am in that department.
Well,
this story was just about Nick and Miles but I had to put Larry at
least! I like seeing many characters making cameos but it was the only
one that really fit. Well, you could also mention Maya. A pity Gumshoe
couldn’t find his way into the story. At least, Oldbag got one or two
mentions. If Miles could read thoughts at that moment!
One
last note is that I got the title from that song of the same title,
which you probably know. It doesn’t really have anything to do with the
story but I like contrasting the list in the actual song to Miles’s wish
list, lol.
I
hope you have enjoyed the story in spite of all, it was a pleasure to
write Phoenix Wright – as it always is. Please, don’t hesitate to leave a
comment; they are all very dear to me. Suggestions, comments, anything,
even one “hey, I read your fic!” will be welcome. So go ahead, I don’t
bite!
Thank you again for reading my story and I hope we can meet again. Until then!
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